Back to the Jokes
<Ventrue> Thank you all for attending, and I apologize for not calling a meeting sooner, as it has been awhile since last we spoke.
<Brujah> Yeah, notice how we're all misty eyed over that? Tears falling like rain. Why'd ya call us?
<Malk> RED RAIN....RED RAIN...RED RAIN...
<Brujah> It's red RUM you kook. Now shut up so we can get this over with, I got things to do, people to see...
<Tremere> Books not to read....
<Ventrue>
::clears throat:: Ahem. As I was
saying. Thank you for coming.
I have gathered you today to discuss
clan politics, and how
we are all aligned.
<Toreador> ::looks at Malkav:: <whispers> Or Misaligned.
<Ventrue>
Um..yes. There is that. At any
rate, I have, for simplicity,
broken down our clans into 3 political
sects, each acting as like
minded nesting ground for individual
clan interactions.
<Gangrel> ::growls and stands:: What did you just call me?
<Nos> ::pats her hand:: Sit dear, he didn't call you anything. He's putting us on "teams". Like in football.
<Malk> Football?? OHH!! I wanna be on the Yankees! Do I get a hockey stick?
<Brujah> Yeah. Lets give spazoid here a big stick. There's a good idea. Why not just give him a chainsaw and some grenades?
<Malk> ::incredulous:: I get GRENADES? ::eyes fill with crimson:: You guys love me. You really...love me.
<Brujah> Just shut up, before I explode. ::mumbles:: Weird little....
<Ventrue> ::clears throat:: IF I may continue.
<Silence>
<Ventrue> Thank you. As I was saying. The sects shall be named in the following; Camarilla. Those foll-
<Ravnos> Caramello? Isn't that a candy bar?
<Giovanni> No, It's that book of sexual positions.
<Toreador> That's the Kama Sutra. And maybe you should READ it sometime.
<Giovanni> ::sighs deeply:: THIS again? I told you, I threw out my back!
<Nos> ::quietly:: Digging into those graves is tasking labor..
<Giovanni> WHAT Did you say?
<Nos> Shh. Nothing. Our secret.
<Ventrue>
::Sighs:: NOT Caramello. NOT Kama
Sutra. ::looks at Malkav:: And
before you say it, NOT Karma Karma
Karma
Chameleon.
<Malk> ::stops in mid dance, his mouth drops open. Slowly he just sits::
<Ventrue>
::smiles at Malk knowingly:: As
I was saying. The Camarilla. This
will be a group of clans that
follow our masquerade to the
letter, obey the prince, and try
to stay unnoticed by mortal society.
<Brujah> A buncha kiss asses.
<Ventrue> Sorry you feel that way Brujah, as being you are part of that group.
<Brujah> WHAT?? Oh COME ON. You honestly expect US to dancey-prancey around. The mortals? You can't be serious.
<Ventrue>
Dead serious. The Camarilla shall
be composed corely of myself,
Toreador, Malkav, Nosferatu, you
Brujah, Tremere, and
Gangrel.
<Gangrel> And NOT Gangrel. I'm not following YOU anywhere suitboy.
<Malk>
::whispers to Ventrue:: She's
still upset about the baboon butt
she got the last time she got
mad. I've seen it. Red, blue,
little white
stripes. It looks like she pooped
out the American Fl--URNK!..
<Gangrel> ::rubs her fist after knocking out Malkav:: Ow. Baboon butt that you little freak.
<Brujah> Go for the face next time. His head is too hard, you'll end up breaking a knuckle. Trust me, I'm an expert on this one.
<Ventrue>
::sighs and shuffles the paperwork::
Very well Gangrel. You shall be
the first name in the next series
of clans. The
Independents.
<Gangrel> ::growls:: I'm listening.
<Ventrue>
The Independent clans shall call
no alliances. They are kindred
who have decided to, for whatever
the reason, blaze their own
trail. When in Camarilla controlled
cities however, they will obey
set laws and rules, or else be
dealt with accordingly.
<Brujah> See? That's perfect for me. Anarchy all the way....hey. Anarchs. Anarchy. Oh..I like that idea. I could go out west and I ....
<Ventrue> What idea?
<Brujah> Ahhh nothing. Continue.
<Ventrue>
::suspicious glance at Brujah::
The Independent clans shall be
as follows. Gangrel, Ravnos, Assamite,
The Followers of Set
and Giovanni.
<Set> I would rattthhher be on your ssside, ssseeing asss we only work for tthhe good of all kindred.
<Malk> Sthufferin Sthuckatash Slyessther!
<Ventrue> Your actions dictate the need for expressed freedoms, Set. I'm sorry.
<Giovanni> I don't see why you must be so rigid with this. We should be allowed to choose our alliance.
<Toreador> ::scoffs:: What would YOU know about rigid?
<Silence>
<Ventrue> Um. Yes. And lastly. We have the Sabbat.
<Malk> HEYYYYYYY ABBBBBBOOOTTTTTTT! urnk.
<Gangrel> ::rubbing her fist:: The face. Thanks for the tip Bruj.
<Brujah> ::grins:: Anytime. ::winks::Personally I like a chick with horns.
<Ventrue>
The Sabbat will be the scourge
of kindred communities. They will
care nothing of the laws or traditions,
doing as they wish
when they wish. They shall travel
in closely knit packs like wolves,
preying wherever they care.
<Tremere> Who is left to head such a heinous sect? Only two clans remain, and they are..
<Ventrue> Lasombra and Tzimice. Both clans chosen for their...affinity with darkness if you will. Literally and not.
<Lasombra> I get to be the bad guy? Hmmm. I may grow to like this.
<Tzim> Grow? I could assist with that. A stretch here..a nip there ..a tuck there. Look what I did for Toreador.
<Giovanni> ::Stands:: AHA!!! ::pointing at Toreador:: I KNEW there was NO way those were REAL!!
<Toreador> ::sobs and goes running from the room, hands covering her face::
<Gangrel> TWO Clans against the your five? Yeah that's really fair jackass.
<Malk> Jack Ass? Talk about liking it kinky! When she's an animal in bed she's REALLY a ::cowers:: Noo!! Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
<Ventrue> The Sabbat shall have the ability..to corrupt from all clans. And every clan shall have it's anti-tribe.
<Malk> Anti-tribe? A bacterial soap?
<Ventrue> A mirror image of it's set sect, allowing it the freedom to become either Sabbat OR Camarilla.
<Malk>
Ahh. I see. A free spirit among
the clans may choose to divert
from the set course, and delve
into either the darkness or light
if
you will, thus choosing his own
alignment, and not the social
stereotypes set upon him by clan
title.
<Crickets>
<Ventrue>
Why..yes. Th-that..is exactly
right. ::shakes his head:: Any
further questions? Yes, Malkav?
and may I add, I could come to
enjoy your new lucidity.
<Malk>
Do you have any duct tape? See
you have to wrap the gerbil in
duct tape so it doesn't explode
when you f-- ::Is silenced by
Ventrue's hand covering his mouth::
<Tzimisce> The other shoe ALWAYS drops.
<Ventrue> ::sighs:: Children. I'm surrounded by children. Meeting adjourned.
On to the next jokeAntidiluvian poker