Tremere Trek

Regent Kirk This is Regent of the Sixth James T. Kirk... Acting Lord of the chantry...Enterprise. Regent's Log...date zero one
two zero two zero zero... It has been... two months since my demotion from Lord for going rogue...with my crew to help...the
Gangrel...save the whales. Our current mission... to track down... and... apprehend the rogue crew of the chantry... Voyager...
led by Rogue Regent Janeway...

Regeant Spock peering into glowing thingy Jim, my Auspex is detecting something ahead. Peculiar.

Regent Kirk What is it... Regent Spock?

Regeant Spock It is an obfuscated ship.

Regeant Kirk Nosferatu? Perhaps Setites?

Regeant Spock Neither. It appears to be a Brujah ship.

Regeant Kirk alarmed and bolting from chair... extreme close up What? Brujah with Obfuscation technology? But...
how?

Regeant Spock Unknown. Perhaps the Nosferatu taught the Brujah their technology.

Regent Kirk I never liked the Brujah bastards. Not after what they did...to my son!

Regeant Spock They are de-obfuscating.

on screen flares the image of a leather clad rebel with an upside down anarchy sign tatooed across his left cheek

Brujah Kirk! I've been waiting for this moment. I will kill you and your crew and gain FEARED within the Camarilla!!!!

Regeant Spock Sir, they are preparing Puissance and Fleetness weapons. They are raising Majesty Shields.

Regent Kirk Apprentice Sulu. Ready Force Bolts. Fire...on my command!

Apprentice Sulu Aye, Regent.

Regeant Spock Might I remind you, Regent, that Force Bolts will be ineffective against their Fleetness technology.

Regent Kirk It might buy us...some time!

Apprentice Sulu They have fired Puissance weapons.

Regent Kirk Puissant shields! Now!

big boom...explosions...people jumping over their consoles...

Regeant Spock Sir, if we can touch them with a Torpedo of Transference, we can gain a trait of their main power. We can
then use that power to make them bend to our will.

Regent Kirk We can't...do that anymore...Spock! That technology was...banned...last month by Mr. Wade Jones...and the
White Wolf Federation!

Apprentice Sulu They're firing Entrancement weapons, Regent.

Regent Kirk Pavis Shields of Foul Presence!!! Scotty, get us the hell out of here!!!

Apprentice Scotty I'lla try, Regent! But I don't know how much more she canna take!

Regent Kirk Cross the wards...Scotty...it will let us...Escape to a True Friend!!!

Apprentice Scotty Aye Sir.....it's working!!!!

lotsa cheesy effects

Regeant Spock We are safe, Jim.

Regent Kirk Apprentice Bones, what's...the casualty report?

Apprentice Bones We've got a lot of aggrivated wounds down here.

Regent Kirk Try to...heal them as...soon as you can. I need...a fully operational...chantry!

Apprentice Bones Damnit Jim, I'm an Apprentice, not a Pontifex miracle worker!!!

Regeant Spock Chantry ahead, Jim. It is the Enterprise-D.

Regent Kirk Lord Picard! Hail them!"

Lord Picard Greetings, Regent Kirk. It is good to see you again. Ah, judging by your sudden appearance, I would say you got yourself into a little bit of trouble and had to Escape to a True Friend. Have you been blood bonding the naitive women again?

Regent Kirk I just had a run in...with the Brujah. They had... Obfuscation technology!

Lord Picard Really? That is QUITE disturbing to say the least! Our Brujah defector, Mr. Worf, can fill you in with any information you need.

Mr. Worf That is correct, Regent Kirk. I have Brujah Lore of five!

Regent Kirk Five?

Lord Picard Yes, Regent Kirk. The Regional Federation approved his clearance.

Regent Kirk Amazing! But...why?

Lord Picard Remember who runs the Regional Federation... Que. The Que known as Storyteller gave it to him. He is also the
one who approved him to learn Thaumaturgy. He can pull some pretty weird decisions and ideas out of his--

Regent Riker Sir! Our Expert Auspex scanners show a Tzimisce Cube closing in on us.

Lord Picard Not the Tzimisce! Warp us out of here! I'll not be subject to their Vicissitude technology again! Hurry Regent
Riker! Hurry!

Regent Riker Ready for your command, Lord.

Lord Picard despite the urgency, he holds up a finger... hesitates... and calmly speaks Engage.

Regent Kirk Apprentice Sulu, get us out of here. Let's try... to find that Rogue... Janeway.

On to the next Joke An amusing Vampire: The Masquerade FAQ

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