On to the next joke Look before you LARP
10. You never, but never, are at a risk for skin cancer.
9. Two words: Bloody Marys.
8. Remember that dilapidated castle you inherited back in the 1700s? You can sell that bad boy for a cool $10 million these days.
7. Instead of rushing out and buying new clothes every time there's a change in fashion, you can just wait for your old stuff to come back into style.
6. Chicks dig the fangs.
5. You can take "bite me" literally.
4. No matter what anyone says, satin-lined coffins are cheaper, more comfortable, and last longer than those stupid Craftmatic Adjustables......
3. Generally outliving the hell out of everyone
2. You can get revenge on your enemies by turning into a bat and dropping loads of guano into their convertables.
1. Great bumper sticker for the hearse: "Life Sucks, But So Do I".
10. When you wake up, your hair is always the same shape as the top of your coffin.....
9. Early evening blood breath, that Listerine just won't get rid of.
8. Your dentist insists on filing down "those outsize canines"
7. The Goth crowd you hang out with doesn't think you're that cool after a couple of weeks......
6. You never get a chance to cash in at all-you-can-eat overnight buffets.
5. Your mortal S.O.'s get upset when all you want to do is neck.
4. You smell musty
3. You tend to embarrass yourself when you try to turn into a bat and you end up transforming into a Louisville Slugger.
2. You keep tripping over your cape.
1. Let's face it, you suck.
Nette
On to the next joke Look before you LARP
