Gamer: Hello, I would like to buy a supplement, please.

Shopkeeper: A what?

Gamer: A supplement for my game, Big Eyes, Small Mouth.

Shopkeeper: Hey! What did you call me?

Gamer: No, no, no, Big Eyes, Small Mouth the game. It's Tri-Stat.

Shopkeeper: What?

Gamer: It...is...a...Tri-Stat...game.

Shopkeeper: You've got a Tri-Stat game?

Gamer: Yes. I chose it out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too crunchy.

Shopkeeper: You must be a looney.

Gamer: I am not a looney! Why should I be tied with the epithet looney merely because I have a Tri-Stat game?
I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabardo has a game called Grave of Uresia and you wouldn't call him a looney; furthermore, Dawn Pailthorpe, the lady show-jumper, had Centauri Knights Allan Bullock has Hellsing and Trigun both Ultimate Fan Guides, and Marcel Proust had El Hazard! So, if you're calling the author of A la recherche du temps perdu a looney, I shall have to ask you to step outside!

Shopkeeper: Alright, alright, alright. A supplement.

Gamer: Yes.

Shopkeeper: For Tri-Stat.

Gamer: Yes.

Shopkeeper: You are a looney.

Gamer: Look, it's a bleeding game, isn't it? I've got a supplement for my Vampire game, and I've got a supplement for my Street Fighter game...

Shopkeeper: You don't need a supplement for Street Fighter.

Gamer: I bleeding well do and I got one. It can't be called Street Fighter without the Ninja Manual.

Shopkeeper: There's no such thing as a bleeding Ninja Manual.

Gamer: Yes there is!

Shopkeeper: Isn't!

Gamer: Is!

Shopkeeper: Isn't!

Gamer: I bleeding got one, look! What's that then?

Shopkeeper: This is a D&D Monster Manual with the word "monster" crossed out and "ninja" written in, in crayon.

Gamer: The man didn't have the right book.

Shopkeeper: What man?

Gamer: The man from the game detector van.

Shopkeeper: The looney detector van, you mean.

Gamer: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.

Shopkeeper: What game detector van?

Gamer: The game detector van from the Ministry of Hygin.

Shopkeeper: Hygin?

Gamer: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant!. I never seen so many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint a well-supported game line at 400 yards! And Tri-Stat, being such a burgeoning franchise, was a piece of cake.

Shopkeeper: How much did you pay for this?

Gamer: Sixty quid, and eight for the gamemaster's screen.

Shopkeeper: What gamemaster's screen?

Gamer: The Tri-Stat gamemaster's screen.

Shopkeeper: Are all your games Tri-Stat?

Gamer: There's nothing so odd about that: Kemal Ataturk had an entire collection of just GURPS!

Shopkeeper: No he didn't!

Gamer: Did!

Shopkeeper: Didn't!

Gamer: Did, did, did, did, did and did!

Shopkeeper: Oh, all right.

Gamer: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a supplement?

Shopkeeper: I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.

Gamer: In that case, give me a d20 supplement.

Shopkeeper: A supplement for your d20 game.

Gamer: Yes.

Shopkeeper: Called BESM? BESM the game?

Gamer: No.

Shopkeeper: No?

Gamer: No, BESM d20. They needed to expand the market.

Shopkeeper: You're off your chump.

Gamer:
Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquiallism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or indeed to deny the semi-existence of my little game BESM d20, I shall have to ask you to listen to this! Take it away, d20 Orchestra!

A one...two....A one, two, three, four...

D&D, philosophically, is (ipso facto) D20
So can BESM be, if d20, called properly, a network externality.
Do you see?

But can BESM be, in actuality,
D20, in its entirety
If it's its own system, really
Despite OGL compatibility?

Singing...

La dee dee, 1, 2, 3
BESM d20
A-B-C-D-E-F-G
BESM d20

Is this book an RPG
That's merely supplementary
To my roleplaying library
No! It's BESM d20

Fiddle dee dum,
Fiddle dee dee,
BESM d20

Ho ho ho,
Tee hee hee,
BESM d20

The old system worked fine for me
Converted stats most carefully
In my basement room by me
I loved it carnally

He loves it carnally...
Semi-carnally...

"Ryan Dancey?"
No!
"Semi-carnally!"
Oh!

BESM d20