Every Game is Sacred - By Erstwhile
SCENE: The Third World (Yorkshire)

A ragged man (Dad) returns home to a house literally filled with children. On his back is a backpack; a gaming book peeks out from the top.

DAD: I'm sorry, children. I just bought The Riddle of Steel. Me game habit's bankrupted us. I have no choice but to sell you all for medical experiments.

CHILDREN: Awwwwwww.

DAD: Now, now, no complainin'. The local game store has blessed me so much, I can't afford to feed you any more.

CHILD 1: Couldn't you stop buying games?

DAD: Not if I want to stay in the most prestigious gaming group in Yorkshire, my lad!

CHILD 2: Couldn't you say the games got ruined in an accident?

DAD: (Sadly) My GM would see through such a cheap trick.

CHILD 3: But what about buying on Ebay instead of retail?

DAD: Children, I know you're trying to help, but really, I have no choice. It's you or the games. So it's medical experiments for all of you. For you see...

There are jocks in the world, there are artists.
There are actors and sculptors and then
There are those who listen to music, but...
I've never been one of them.

I'm an RPG'er, and have been since the fourth grade.
And the one thing they say about gamers is,
Your money's gone as soon as you're paid, be...cause....

Every game is sacred
Every game is great
If I don't special order
My new game will be late

Let the sports fans spend theirs
On jerseys, shoes and hats
I'll be spending mine on
Supplements for Tri-Stat

Some say I'm obsessive
Some say I need a date
But I must special order
So my new game won't be late

Education, food, or shelter
Are fine if you don't game
But if you don't have Nobilis
My game group thinks you're lame

Every game is useful
Not a game is dumb
I'll buy everybody's...
Even Palladium
Every game is worth it
Every game is cheap
At least compared to cocaine
I buy one every week
Every game is sacred
Every game is great
If I miss my special order
I...get...quite...i...raaaaaaaaate

DAD: So you see children, it has to be medical experiments for you all. Exalted's new castebook is out next week.

SCENE: The children file out sadly. Across the street, a husband and wife watch through their window.

HUSBAND: Look at those bloody role-players. Spending so much bloody money on new bloody books they can't bloody afford.

WIFE: What are we, dear?

HUSBAND: Historical wargamers, and fiercely proud of it!

WIFE: But why do they buy so many books?

HUSBAND: Because every time a new game line starts up, they have to buy all the supplements!

WIFE: But it's the same with us, Harry. I mean we play in Napoleonic wargames and Classical Greek wargames, and we have two books...