PC1: How could they surround us? I had mordakeinen's magical watchdog cast!
GM: It doesn't help.
PC1: Yes it does!
GM: No it doesn't!
PC1: Yes it does! With the new rules changes is 3.5, it does.
GM: Blimey, I didn't expect some kind of D&D rules revision!
CRASH! Crashing chord! Wizards of the Coast burst in, screeching.
Peter Adkinson: NOBODY expects the D&D rules revision! Our chief change is the ranger. And the druid. Our TWO chief changes are the ranger and the druid and the way magic spells work. Arg! Our three chief changes are the ranger, the druid, the way magic works and shiny new covers I'LL COME IN AGAIN!
WotC run out.
GM: Err...Blimey, I didn't expect some kind of D&D rules revision.
CRASH!
Peter: Noooooooooooobody expects the D&D rules revision! Amongst our chief changes are such diverse elements as the ranger, the druid, the way magic works and shiny new covers and feats from the classbooks and oh God. Cardinal Dancey, you'll have to do it.
Dancey: What?
Peter: You'll have to say "our chief changes are..."
Dancey: I couldn't do that.
Peter: Shut up! We'll come in again!
GM: I did not expect some kind of D&D rules revision.
CRASH!
Dancey: Ah! Ah. Nobody....
Peter: Expects...
Dancey: Yes, nobody expects the D&D rules revision. In fact, those who do expect it -
Peter: Our chief changes are....
Dancey: Ah, our chief changes are, um, the ranger and
Peter: STOP! That's it! Our chief change is the ranger!
Dancey: What about the druid?
Peter: Oh yes, and the druid.
Dancey: And -
Peter: SHUT UP! Now, we find your game lacking on three counts: lacking in dice, lacking in miniatures, lacking in stats and lacking in rules - four, FOUR counts. But you have one last chance! Reject the ways of dicelessness, renounce the works of - two, TWO last chances. You have two last chances. Reject the ways of dicelessness, renounce the works of AEG, return to the fold of 3.5- THREE last chances, you have THREE LAST CHANCES - and you shall go free. Now...how do you plead?
