GAMER #1: We have found a DP9 editor, might we flame him?
CROWD: Flame him! Flame!
MOD: How do you know he is a DP9 editor?
GAMER #2: He looks like one.
MOD: Bring him forward.
EGARWAEN: I'm not a DP9 editor. I'm a freelancer.
MOD: But you are dressed as one.
EGARWAEN: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.
EGARWAEN: And this isn't my goatee, it's a false one.
MOD: Well?
GAMER #1: Well, we did do the goatee.
MOD: The goatee?
GAMER #1: And the turtleneck -- but he is a DP9 editor!
CROWD: Flame him! DP9 editor! DP9 editor! Flame him!
MOD: Did you dress him up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
GAMER #1: He has got a passport.
MOD: What makes you think he is a DP9 editor?
GAMER #3: Well, he turned me into a narrativist.
MOD: A narrativist?
GAMER #3: I got better.
GAMER #2: Flame him anyway!
CROWD: Flame! Flame him!
MOD: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a DP9 editor.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
MOD: Tell me, what do you do with DP9 editor?
GAMER #2: Flame him!
CROWD: Flame! Flame them until their email boxes burst!
MOD: And what do you flame apart from DP9 editors?
GAMER #1: More editors!
GAMER #2: d20!
MOD: So, why do DP9 editors need to be flamed?
[pause]
GAMER #3: B--... 'cause they allow typos and errors...?
MOD: Good!
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
MOD: So, how do we tell whether he allowed typos and errors?
GAMER #1: Compare a DP9 book to an Exalted book!
BEDEMIR: Aah, but do not Exalted books also have errors?
GAMER #2: Oh, yeah.
MOD: Should errors be allowed in game books?
GAMER #1: No, no.
GAMER #2: No, unless it’s Buffy!
GAMER #1: We like Buffy!
CROWD: Buffy! Buffy!
MOD: What else shouldn’t be allowed in game books?
GAMER #1: Hex maps!
GAMER #2: Splats!
GAMER #3: Lots of dice!
GAMER #1: Rules for sex!
GAMER #2: Katanas!
GAMER #1: Hot elf chicks!
GAMER #2: Pretentious lecturing!
GAMER #3: Art! Art!
GAMER #2: Furries!
HARBINGER: Deluxe editions.
CROWD: Oooh.
MOD: Exactly! So, logically...,
GAMER #1: If... he.. thinks errors are okay in game books…he must like Deluxe Editions…
MOD: And therefore--?
GAMER #1: Be a DP9 editor!
CROWD: A DP9 editor! A DP9 editor! A DP9 editor!
MOD: We shall make him read all of the errors in DP9 books!
[whir]
[creak]
EGARWAEN: It’s not that bad. You can download the errata for free or it will be in the Deluxe Edition.
CROWD: A DP9 editor! A DP9 editor!
EGARWAEN: I’m just a freelancer!
CROWD: Flame him! Flame him!